Not Cool Enough? How to Raise your Social Status
by Michael A. Thomas

Recently I was involved in a discussion with some friends, in which the topic of conversation was, “Can someone learn how to be cool?”

The opinions were very interesting. This conversation got me thinking deeper. Essentially, life is really like one giant high school. People of all ages want to be liked and accepted by others.

When you go to a social spot, you will see the group of men that you know are the cooler than everyone else there. They are the ones mingling with everyone, and people are hovering around them, hoping some of their coolness will somehow transfer.

So, what it is it that makes them so cool?

A lot of people think a shortcut to becoming cool is dressing a certain manner. Don’t get me wrong, fashion is important, and it’s great to look good. However, how you dress will NOT make you cool. You cannot put old wine in a new bottle (so you might want to hold off on going to the mall this weekend for some new outfits). If you look good but you are feeling unsure of yourself, you look like a well-dressed insecure person.

What you think about becomes reality; life is all about having the proper mindset. There are no shortcuts to raising your social influence. There is no magic formula to make you instantly cool in other people’s eyes.

The only way to become cool is to begin to unlock your coolness within. If you see yourself as cool, you will become cool.. When you see a group of people that you think are cool and you think you are not as cool or hip as they are . . . again, you are 100% correct.

Now, just because you can’t be cool over night, doesn’t mean you can’t be cool over time. There are some specific techniques that you will need to follow in order to increase your sphere of influence.

1. Confidence, Confidence, Confidence. Once you are comfortable being alone and happy with who you are as a person, your coolness will automatically increase. Cool people always seem to have an inner calmness about them, like everything is right with the world. This will shine through, regardless if they are in social settings.

2. Be more outgoing. People will not gravitate to you immediately, especially if you have been a hermit for so long. Even if you are not naturally extroverted, you’re going to have to come out of your shell a bit and put yourself in social situations. Don’t be afraid to go and sit at a new table at lunch, or strike up a conversation with the person next to you in study hall.

3. Get involved. One of the easiest ways to raise your sphere on influence is to participate in things in and around your community. Activities such as athletic teams, community service projects, or artistic groups are great ways to develop your social network. Being part of a group automatically fosters some formation of relationships, and can give you the added confidence you need to feel popular. Choose something that fits your interests and talents, and eventually people will recognize you for the good qualities you have.

4. Always talk to strangers. Talk to at least 3 new people every day. This is one of the simplest things you can do. There a many people in your life that could be apart of your network that you are not utilizing. Grocery stores, bookstores, coffee shops, and other spots you frequent are crawling with people who are waiting for you to talk to them. Do not disappoint.

5. Nonchalance. Being cool is a state of mind, first and foremost. If you are trying to hard to raise your social status, people will see through you, and dismiss your efforts. Popularity, in the end, is only partly about how others see you. Your reputation will undoubtedly change and even fade over time, and the only thing you can/should do about that is stay absolutely true to yourself.

Power Play: Recreating Yourself
by Michael A. Thomas

So you say you want to change? You’ve looked at yourself in the mirror and don’t want to see that weak person anymore. Maybe the position you want at work requires you to make some personality changes. Or maybe you’re just really tired of the same old routine, and getting no results. Whatever you reason is, I applaud. Acknowledgment of the desire to change is a major step that most people are afraid to do.

This moment of clarity will help you immensely in your rise with power. To begin the process, you must be able to see yourself from an outside perspective. That means, being able to control your emotions and appearance, and mold them into what is needed for your new self.

A good way to think about this concept is when a seasoned actor gets into character. They study the personality of the character; appearance, mannerisms, and other key factors to display that character for the audience.

You’ll be doing much of the same thing, but unlike an actor, you will become that new character.

The next step is to refine your new character to garner attention; one that stands out from the crowd. Make your gestures and action a little more dramatic. Allow things to unfold slowly, only speeding things up as necessary. The key is, to have a pattern and rhythm that set by you.

Remember, you do not have to accept the roles that mainstream society gives you. You can build a new identity. Life is a big stage, where you are the main character. Keep your audience intrigued by re-creating yourself.

The character you seem to have been born with is not necessarily who you are; beyond the characteristics you have inherited, your parents, your friends, and your peers have helped to shape your personality…The Promethean task of the powerful is to take control of the process, to stop allowing others that ability to limit and mold them. Remake yourself into a character of power. Working on yourself like clay should be one of your greatest and most pleasurable life tasks. It makes you in essence an artist, an artist creating yourself.

~Robert Greene, The 48 Laws of Power